Via Humans of Bombay:
“For most of my life, I’ve been told to conform to society’s standard of beauty. I’ve found it so hard to be accepted for me because I’ve often been asked to change — in ways big and small.
I remember, I was in college when the acting bug bit me. I started actively going for auditions, learning how to put on makeup and began dreaming big. I even managed to bag a great role in a television show and thoroughly enjoyed it!
Being confident about myself was never something I had a problem with. But this one time, I got a message from a casting director saying that he was looking for Indian looking girls for a fairness cream advertisement. I decided to go audition for it, but before I could even get to it, they told me that I wasn’t the ‘right fit’, because I wasn’t fair enough.
I was too naive, and believed that I was lacking. I thought that the problem was within me.
It didn’t stop there. I had a few highs and lows in my career— so after a few years I moved to Hyderabad. I worked at a bank there to sustain myself, but kept looking for opportunities in the South industry.
Out of the blue, I met a very big director and he loved my audition, but he told me that I was too thin and needed to put on weight. It wasn’t just him, but a lot of others told me that to breakthrough in this industry, I had to put on weight. So I did. But when I went back, I was told that I was ‘too fat’.
I was sick and tired. My body had been treated like a joke. I had gone into a shell and didn’t know how to come out of it.
I decided to change my environment, come back to Mumbai and start afresh. A casting director friend came to know about my move and told me that there was a role in a serial, ready for me. I didn’t have to do anything but just reach the set and roll. He encouraged me and even though I was skeptical, I took it because I thought it was going to be my make it or break it moment.
I was so excited for my first day — I went on set and into my vanity van. I was given my costume to wear, but the blouse’s zip wasn’t shutting. I asked if the costume designer could alter it a little.
I waited for over 2 hours but nothing happened. Suddenly I saw another woman walk into my vanity with my outfit and started changing into it. They had replaced me in front of my eyes and refused to alter the costume. Just like that, I was kicked out. I couldn’t stop my tears and started screaming. I was so angry.
That was the last day I went to any kind of set — I decided that I didn’t want to be a part of an Industry that didn’t value ‘humans’ — forget artists or work ethic. I decided that I wasn’t going to let these people influence how I saw myself. I started my own YouTube channel and blog about beauty — real beauty that isn’t defined by color or size. This is me, this is how I am and the best thing I did for myself is to not care about what the world thinks about how I look. Trust me, the best feeling in the world is not caring… and I’m just so damned happy right now!”
Post Courtesy: Humans of Bombay