That was her first wedding night and she knew that everything has changed for her forever. Perhaps she realized it instantly the moment when she signed the marriage papers but of course at that time, in between all the excitement and friends around, she forgot that she has taken the biggest step of her life and nothing is going to be the same onwards. Every night, she used to recall her mother’s face saying that “Now that’s not your home, your home is where you belong after marriage and you have to survive no matter what because there is no come back”.
She had dreams, she didn’t think of her life the way she was living now. She had always imagined her new home where birds are not caged and can fly with golden wings high above the sky, she always fantasized her life like a princess of fairy tale in her new house but she didn’t know that reality is bitter and in reality some birds are meant to be caged, some birds don’t have wings to fly and princess only exist in fairy tales. Yes, that’s the thing which always every other girl is told while growing up but all the little dreams shattered and heart is broken when there is no mama to console her while she is crying and no baba is there to take care of her little needs.
In our Asian culture, a girl is grown up hearing about her proposals and all the family, relatives, friends make up her mind as Marriage is only ultimate goal for living on this planet. No one understands her personal goals and her little sweet wishes. The truth is we cut the wings of the little birds in their early hood and they spend whole life thinking that we can’t fly because we don’t have wings. The social stigma associated with marriage has aggravated the whole situation where if you are not married until your late 20’s means you are out of the screen now and perhaps your life has ended miserably.
On the other hand, the societal demands and criteria for being a marriage material is really pushing our nation so back. The truth is no one has the right to judge you and reject you based on your physical appearance and body figure. If they are meant to be with you, they will, accepting the way you are. Marriage is a beautiful relation if we ever understand what does marriage means. It has its own charm when you allow your girls to fly and tell them that marriage doesn’t mean to believe in your ill fate and stop dreaming. Marriage would be more perfect, if we tell our girls that “the home is where she is no matter at her husband’s place or her parent’s house “.
The important thing is to teach your boys to be a gentle man and tell him the true meaning of being life partners where a gentle man would allow her girl to open her wings and fly high and say ! Look I am watching you, don’t worry, if you fall, I will be there to catch you.
Fakiha Ali aims to amplify the voices of underrepresented and marginalized communities of Pakistan using a variety of mediums including public awareness campaigns and research. Her current focus is utilizing the potential of transgender community in development of human resources through research and vocational trainings. On the other hand, being an Emerging Leader of Pakistan fellow with Atlantic council of U.S., She is on the verge of collaborating with different community based organizations working for the empowerment of third gender and marginalized people. Fakiha has also represented Pakistan in south Asian youth conference, held in Sri Lanka in 2015. While seeing her passion and dedication for removing the stigma against third gender, Fakiha has been selected as a highly commended runner up for Queen’s Young Leader Award, the Queen Elizabeth Diamond Jubilee Trust, in partnership with comic relief and the Royal Common Wealth society.