“I have been quiet for a long time because I silenced my voice but now, I will sing till until the end of time. I am that voice that kept screaming loud from within for peace, for joy and for the taste of true love but because I was mute no one heard me.”
Continued from first installment:
I was rejected by those who were the closest to me when I chose to stand for myself, I needed no more mistreatment, control, hardship of adoration and love, agony, melancholy and even suicide. I decided to turn my challenges into chances and my misery into a magnificent vision that will not only help me heal but others also for others with similar experiences. I chose to utilize my own particular voice to spare myself since nobody else was eager to do that for me. I chose to stand for myself.
Be that as it may, subsequent to doing this I probably brought shame to my loved ones. Yet again, they did not know how long I had endured; they could not understand why I would take such a harsh decision to walk away from something and someone that to them appeared to be loving. But then I was the one wearing the aching shoes and it was time for me to take them off. One can only endure so much and I had come to my own breaking point. Like an illness. I had never felt such mortification and dismissal yet what else would I say I was anticipating?
My feeling of power and freedom began with me recounting my story to a group of people of almost 50 individuals unknown to me for the first run through. I felt assuaged and a feeling of achievement since it was exceptionally trying for me to move into the open and discuss myself in that kind of way. It was an accomplishment for me as I defeated my fear and overcame the shame I had carried for many years.
Thing is I had never done anything like this before. I could feel the nerves, panic and the various feelings that accompany it. A couple of months down the line, I concluded that I would dependably share my story; for me, for individuals who are as of now encountering what I had experienced, for survivors, for the individuals who feel stock, for the individuals who have surrendered trust and the individuals who need to make a new beginning.
It was just in 2014, I at last settled on an individual choice to end my silence, move into the open and talk about my experience and voyage through abuse. It was extremely unnerving for me to acknowledge that I had been abused as I was dependably trying to claim ignorance thinking things will improve. The disgrace, humiliation, names and numerous different things overloaded on me, however I said to myself, ‘I had a decision to either stay quiet, flounder in self contentedness and imagine nothing ever happened or swallow my pride, end my hush, acknowledge the outcomes and free myself from the weight of disgrace and agony and help other people who are presumably encountering the same as I did.
Despite the fact that I have been helping, especially kids, youngsters and ladies influenced by mishandle, I never made the individual association. I generally hid my experience because of disgrace, forswearing and family values so I never stood up.
“But when I made the decision to face my demons, even though I was still on a verge of self-rediscovery, I thought it was time in any case to join the many voices standing in opposition to abuse and Gender Based Violence. I felt the time had come to turn out and offer my help and non-judgmental support simply like I had gotten to individuals particularly kids, teens and women in a more cognizant manner.”
One of my most prominent interests is working with undeserved and underprivileged children, adolescents and teens. Kids are a blessing and should have been adored, valued and administered to. With the correct support and direction kids can bloom into remarkable grown-ups. I know this since I have committed numerous years of my life working with them as they have for me. They have shown me things I would never envision.
I am especially thankful in light of the fact that I am honoured with three lovely kids. I am still here on the grounds that they were the blessed angels that spared me when I surrendered the quality to continue living. I am thankful on the grounds that I have a voice and I can utilize it uninhibitedly despite the fact that there are individuals who will favour I stay silent and quit talking.
I have been quiet for a long time because I silenced my voice but now, I will sing till until the end of time. I am that voice that kept screaming loud from within for peace, for joy and for the taste of true love but because I was mute no one heard me. I am that person who could not use the words “I Love You” anymore because those words felt unreal and non- existent. Besides, I had come to accept that wanting someone is far better than loving them because my ex made sure it shank into my mind (I heard this over a thousand times and it became real to me). Now I know true love those exist and it starts by you loving your person; the face you see when you look in the mirror. Love is real and it can be experienced in the most unusual way. Love is eternal, open your heart to it and it will find you. And when it is found, you can share it with the world around you and beyond…yes, beyond.
I challenge anyone to be able to put into words the feeling you gain from showing love and care to another human being, especially those who haven’t felt much love, compassion, kindness, friendliness, empathy and support from another person. It’s a feeling that I feel words cannot really describe and it’s a feeling that once you know it, you never want to lose or let it go. So please never hold back no matter your experiences, if you find yourself in a position to assist another person, do it without thinking twice. Someday, you will be glad you could offer that help because helping someone else is definitely a privilege in my opinion and we should be thankful for it.
It is never nice to judge others especially when you do not know their true story or experiences. I know that by experience because I could not understand why anyone will become depressed because of a sour relationship or bad tasting partner.
I am Ini, I am a survivor of a series of abuses, but today, I am an empowered woman who uses her personal experiences of abuse to transform lives, inspire, motivate and bring back the hope in faith to other victims who like her in the past feel rejected, abandoned, invincible, suicidal, not good enough and worthless.
Today, I am a social entrepreneur and avid Human Rights Activist with a particular interest in girls, children, and women’s right. I use my voice to advocate for the rights of children, girls and women who like me in the past suffer the injustice of abuse and keep silent for fear of judgement, rejection, oppression, deprivation, honour, name calling, shame, labelling, death, insults and of cause fear of the unknown. My transformation did not come easy and this is a true confession. I was living a very frustrated, controlled, confused and depressed life. My life was like an Iceberg of pain and for many years I hide myself behind a smiling face, I knew I was slowly dying but little did anyone know I was giving up on the very essence of life.
I am Ini, a peace activist, public health practitioner, and a health promoter. I am an inspirational speaker; a mentor, a personal development coach, and a creative idea generator…Who says you too cannot be all this and even more? The power lies within you.
Thank you for sharing this moment with me…from my heart to yours
About Ini and LCP:
For over a decade, Ini has been a leading community and international advocate for human rights; violence against children, girls, young people and women, gender equality, and for those living in poverty.
She has been part of various organizations, having been featured in The Red Elephant Foundation, Girl’s Can’t What, Women of Rubies, to mention a few. She is very passionate about issues of social justice, reproductive rights, equality, and fairness.
Ini is a Family Violence expert, Gender-Based Violence expert, Girl Child activist, trainer, transformational and inspirational speaker, a self-development coach, entrepreneur, mentor, critical thinker, idea generator and philanthropist. She also has expertise in quantitative and qualitative research methodologies, including surveys.
Ini created Love and Care for People with six of her friends, namely Ado Mazombe, Magdalina Siekamiec, Pierre Ruben Tetwoso, Kouakou Koffi, Peggy Mangidi Bakulu and Thomas Siekamiec.
Love and Care for People was created for two main reasons. First, Ini saw Love and Care for People as being a way to give back to the community of people in Ireland who supported her without judgement when she was in despair. Second, Ini wanted to make a difference by reciprocating the care and support she received. That’s where the initiative for Love and Care for People began.
Love and Care for People has initiated over 40 projects in education, health care, and has provided food and sanitary supplies to schools, care homes for abandoned children, woman’s shelters, etc. We have sponsored the education of over 50 children and provided seed funds to over 20 small-scale businesses for survivors of family violence in Africa.
Love and Care for People has organized several outreach programmes and offered vocational skills training to victims of family abuse. Currently, the organisation is developing child protection and human rights trainings in Nigeria as a pilot programme for Africa.