Asma Darwish
– Stand As My Witness Campaign Lead and SWANA Advocacy Lead at CIVICUS
Editor’s Note: Asma Darwish’s “Did I Really Grow into This Woman?” is a four-part series, first published in the AAWE Paris newsletter in 2021. Women Chapter English is pleased to republish the series for our readers. Today, we begin with Part One.
– I was in middle school when my entire family finally came together for the first time: Mom, Dad, and all of my sisters and brothers. The story is quite interesting. Do you have time? Assuming you do, here I go.
I was born in Iran in October 1990. I came back to my home country, Bahrain, when I was one year old, with only half of my family. And when I say half a family, I mean it. In 1992, my mother was finally allowed to return to Bahrain, but she had to leave behind her husband and three sons in Iran. She was only allowed to return with her three daughters.
That is how our family was split up.
We are a family from Bahrain. My mother and father have seven children together, and like many families in Bahrain, we are of Persian descent—and I am so proud of this. It is this beautiful mixture of cultures that gave me the chance to speak Arabic and Farsi as my two native languages.
Dad Exiled to Iran in 1982
Every 10 years in Bahrain, there was a popular movement. My family’s story began in the late ’70s, when my father was arrested for political reasons during a mass arrest campaign carried out by the government at the time. He was tortured and kept in prison for three years in a prison named “Jedah” on an isolated island.
Yes, an island prison. Just like in some movies!
I was like, “REALLY?!” when, at age 14, I learned that Jedah was so completely isolated that you could only reach it by boat. The day my father’s prison term ended, he was supposed to be released. That was what was supposed to happen, right?
Mom was waiting at home with the entire family to welcome my dad with his favourite meal. But no. That’s not what happened. Instead, the government put him on a cargo boat like he was cargo himself! And forcibly exiled him that very same day to Iran.
The story of that boat could be made into a film. The boat was lost at sea for five days, and my father spent that time with a 16-year-old boy, a Bahraini woman who had just given birth, and her newborn baby. My father arrived in Iran in 1982, and there began his journey of displacement, which would last almost 19 years.
Mom Also in Iran
My mom joined my dad in Iran with three children that same year. The plan was to stay there for a month and return to Bahrain with the kids. But guess what? More drama? Of course!
That one-month visit lasted 10 years after she lost her passport in Iran. She could not return to Bahrain until 1992. During those 10 years, two sons and I were born. That explains why I have Tehran, Iran, as my “place of birth” on my identity card, something that was viewed with disapproval in Bahrain, which had tense relations with Iran. In 1992, my mother was finally allowed to return to her country, Bahrain, but only with the girls. The authorities refused to allow the boys to return, so my mother had to leave her sons—aged 3, 7, and 18—behind in Iran with my father.
Family Back in Bahrain
My father and brothers were only able to return in March 2001, after the government introduced extensive political reforms following King Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa’s succession to his father as ruler in March 1999. One of these reforms resulted in the release of approximately 3,000 prisoners held for political reasons, while those who had been forcibly exiled were allowed to return home. I still remember the day I saw my dad and brothers at the airport. I was almost 12 years old, and I had never been so euphoric in my life! Finally, I could throw myself into my father’s arms and get to know my brothers.
OK, to confess, it wasn’t easy with my older brother, Mohamed, as we fought a lot. About everything! Now that we are adults, things are much calmer between us (hehehe). Growing up, I was a very good student, one of the best in my class until I graduated from school. I am a Libra, and it’s never easy to make choices. I hesitated between going to Ukraine to study medicine or staying in Bahrain to study business. Hmmm…
At first, I chose the first option, and I almost travelled to Ukraine, but then…
BOOM!
I changed my mind and stayed in Bahrain to study business at Bahrain Polytechnic!
Growing Up, but Also GROWING
I was always a person open to change, something my family did not quite approve of, as they are conservative to an extent. But I was, and still am, constantly searching for meaning, adopting new ideas and embracing new thoughts. I wanted to become a better person, and for that I needed to define what a better person is and decide in which direction I wished to grow. Because if I didn’t, well, I might be screwed!
The central question dominating my life has always been:
“How can I truly have a life of meaning?”
I want to find great ideas and make them actionable so I can have the life to which I aspire. So I started that journey when I was around 19 years old. I had so many questions in my mind:
How do I start with—and stick to—good values?
How do I adopt good habits?
How do I make good choices and avoid bad ones?
How do I make positive changes?
How do I do meaningful things?
And most importantly, how do I find myself and actually ‘be myself’, without having to pretend I am someone I am not?
And thus, my life’s journey started in February 2011.
–To be continued…