Let’s say, you were in a relationship with a girl/guy from 2011-2013, and during that relationship, you both passed intimate moments of trust, love, lust, and affection! And say, for instance, you have pictures/videos of these moments. What will you do with these if you have an unfortunate fall out from the relationship? Let’s not consider the reason of the breakup, and let’s just consider the fact that you are not in a relationship with your respected girlfriend/boyfriend now, what will you do with these pictures/videos?
Questions may arise that it is “To each his own” and I completely get it. But will you ever, even in your most vulnerable or frustrated state of mind, consider sharing those pictures with the world with the intention of defaming your ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend? Or will you ever think of creating mental pressure to your ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend by blackmailing him/her with those pictures/videos?
Well, that’s what my story is about! A couple of months ago, I went through hell! I was blackmailed from a fake account which harassed me saying that he/she will share everything that he/she has against me to my mum, dad, and my brother. When I saw the messages and the contents of the messages, I couldn’t move. I thought this was the end for me! For my reputation! For my life! I had a full day planned with lab works and meetings and all I did was cancel all of those and glued myself to bed. Cause I thought that was the solution, if I don’t get up from the bed, the blackmailer will go away!
But my mum noticed that something was bothering me, and she literally ordered me to spill whatever it was. I did and while sharing, I went through hell once again. Cause, I felt, I wasn’t only sharing but also was disappointing her on so many levels with my story and the blackmailing incident! After sharing everything, all she told me was, not to respond to the blackmailer and make all my social media profiles private for a while. She also told me firmly that this incident was not the end of my life, nor was it something to stop all my works and cornering myself at home! That brought my confidence back! I did what she told me and for the next weeks, the blackmailer did not bother me!
On February 2018, I had a thesis competition where I had to present my thesis in front of the department officials. On the day of the competition, the blackmailer again texted me from another fake account with different contents and started harassing me. I saw the messages and I kept my phone away, informed my mum about the occurring and went straight to present at the competition!
Two days before my birthday in March 2018, the blackmailer blackmailed me again through another fake account! I didn’t do anything, and it stopped. Till now, it did not happen again. But this incident took a lot of things away from me. I don’t trust anyone anymore. I don’t care about any human relations and feelings anymore. I became numb.
But at the same time, I became curious. Curious about how do people process these things in their minds and do these? Why didn’t I do it from my end? What stopped me from being an animal but didn’t stop him/her? Why did it happen in the first place? Will it ever happen again? Will I see something obscene and horrible about me one day after waking up in the morning? Is it because I am a girl and I am an easy target?
I have so many unanswered questions and I have none to ask these to, I won’t even be surprised if the blackmailing starts after this article, but I will be surprised if it stops happening, not with me only but with all the girls/guys who are suffering and facing these on a regular basis! Because, in these cases, justice is a myth.
I am doing my Masters’ in Pharmacology and Toxicology from Universiti Putra Malaysia. My passion is expressing thoughts through writing and voicing my opinions through public speaking. I would love to see myself balancing between my profession and passion in the long run and that’s how I am preparing myself now!