Naimah Tanzim (Translated by Shanjida Nahar Priya):
I do not understand one thing. We have so many ideas on how to stop “Rape”. Baby girls must be protected, you have to think ten times before enrolling your child in a madrasah, a child can not be left alone even with his/her own brother, etc.
But why we do not do anything to prevent people from becoming rapists?
Rapist Saiful is still alive and is in jail. Has any research been done on him? What kind of environment did he grow up in? How did he sadistic nature develop such a sadistic nature? Was he always be lustful towards children? Or has he shown 100% of his cruelty at the opportunity of the moment? (Link is provided below for reference)
Someone does not have the courage or cruelty to rape a small child-like Saiful did, in such a brutal way (filtered due to trigger factors); such courage and cruelty develop over time.
It starts is with eve-teasing which is apparently silly(as many still consider eve-teasing as silly), or with disrespectful/ bad language towards women and getting away with such behavior, or with an abusive relationship.
When such a ‘small’ incident occurs, what role do you take?
Can you identify the signs immediately? And do you oppose it? Or do you just laugh away by saying ‘boys do it sometimes’?
You buy pots and dolls for the girl child whereas you buy guns and fighter planes for the boy child. Your plan for the girl child is to train her to be a quiet, “well-mannered” fairy. And in contrast, you buy bats and balls for the boy child. If he commits mischief, you are sarcastic about it. If he does commit any audacity, you become happy thinking that ‘he is becoming strong like a man’.
After the children graduate from college, you do not even worry if your son is in outside until 11 pm. But if your daughter does not return home after 10 pm, you will call her 100 times.
You do not get startled seeing a boy opening the zipper of their pants and peeing in the street as much as you make side glances or stare at a girl wearing jeans and tops.
Don’t you think how such behaviors matter?
Or these are very small issues, and that we should not think too much about them?
They should be taken seriously as they convey certain “social messages.” These messages contribute towards establishing two social categories- male and female; giving one group ownership/entitlement over the other. These categories imply that one group as strong and the other group is ‘tender’, ‘soft’, ‘weaker’.
So stop participating in ‘rapist production process’ from now.
Whether you are a woman or a man, if any of your friends tell you the number of women he touches inappropriately or the number of girls he is dating now to show his manliness, even if you can not slap him ‘tightly’, give him a piece of your mind and boycott him to make him understand that what he is doing is completely wrong.
If someone you know well uploads a picture of their three-year-old daughter picture wearing abaya/hijab, scold them. No three years old child menstruates or ejaculates. In other words, a child is not a fully grown adult yet. Ask them what is the need to make the little girl a woman ‘forcefully’ by making her wear hijab and publish it on social media?
A rapist does not become one in one day but gradually. The process of making a rapist has continued skillfully for millions of years across the world. And all of us has participated in this process.
Why all the bad languages in history is only women-centered for millions of years?
Why there is no male version of the word ‘whore’? What will be the masculine gender of slut?
Have you ever thought about it?
Link to the original article in Bengali: https://womenchapter.com/views/31193
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Naimah Tanzim is a social enthusiast. She lives in Dhaka and likes to highlight the daily misery of a messy, busy urban life through her writing. She loves reading and spending time with children. She is involved with several social programs, such as teaching underprivileged children, donating blood and contributing to environmental issues.
Shanjida Nahar Priya is currently pursuing MSc in Economics from Jahangirnagar University. She is passionate about reading books, exploring new things and collecting makeup stuff.
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