Farhana Afrose Jahan:
“I do not need love, what I need is respect” – it was a dialogue of Sridevi from a Hindi Movie EnglishVinglish. In this Movie, her dreams are repeatedly defeated to the needs and demand of her family. She also feels guilty when she was not able to stay beside her son while he was playing and had an injury. This is a mother, this is a woman. Every day, thousands of women are sacrificing their needs, their demands and their pleasures for family and family’s demand. However, what is returning back to them?
There are lots of examples in our society that the wife had to quit the job to take care of the children. I am not telling that it is bad. Being a mother she is the best caregiver for her child and she is the best option to accompany her child; no doubt. But can we really respect this situation? If we ask someone whose wife is a housewife “what your wife does?” I can guarantee hundred percent replies will be “Nothing” means she does nothing. Even the wife who had to leave her job because of the family, she also has to hear the same. Is it any respectful situation for her?
Sometimes husband expresses love to his wife in many ways however wife does not feel that because she does not find any respect for her. Mita, once got a nice saree from her husband on her fifth anniversary with a message “LOVE YOU”. Mita was quite happy and overwhelmingly proposed her husband to go outside for a dinner. Her husband just told her why? Whatever you need I bought them at home. If you want to eat something special cook at home and we will eat together. Mita did not mind but somewhere in her heart she felt hurt. She was thinking whatever her husband does, it is by himself. He never asked Mita anything and never heard Mita. She knows, he did not go for dinner with Mita but if he wanted to go outside, thousands of problems of Mita would not be an issue. Mita was hurt not for the dinner or food, she found that her wishes are never respected by her husband. Now Mita question herself, how her husband loves her? Mita cannot feel the love of her husband rather she thinks how she could get respect from him.
Women are warm, loving and caring by nature and in most of the cases, these are taken as their weaknesses not strengths. If a woman cooks for her family out of love, it should not be said that she is born to cook. If a woman stays at home to accompany her child, she never should hear that she does nothing. Rather think, if she does not do this, who will? Who will take care of the family with such love and responsibility? Of course, the paid caregivers and housemaids can do the works but the love and care a woman give to her family, are they payable? Can anyone buy the love for the family which a woman naturally gives? She is the one in the family, who desires the topmost respect from each and every member of the family.
If a woman gets her deserved dignity, all relationship will be smooth then. If a husband respects his wife, he will get respect in turn. If a woman is respected in her workplace by the males as well as by other female colleagues, it will create a mutually respectful environment. A woman could be respected through even very small events and it could be reflected in the conversation, behavior and looking at her. We do not need to pay extra attention or any cost to respect a woman.
Let us do!!
Farhana Afrose Jahan is working at the Nielsen Company (Bangladesh) Limited.