I don’t ever want to need anyone again



PC: Humans of New York

“I was eighteen years old. I went out one night with a male cousin and his friends. I felt safe with him. But he gave me a drink and I started to not feel like myself. He took me home to his house. It was dark inside and I could hear people moving around. I heard murmuring in the shadows. I tried to lock myself in the washroom. But they beat down the door. It lasted all night. They took turns. I was still a virgin when it happened. I had goals for myself. I’d started reading at a very young age. I wanted to go to school. But that night everything changed. I didn’t leave my bedroom for months. I wasn’t going to tell anyone. But unfortunately for me, I got pregnant. I was forced to tell my family. My father didn’t believe me. He said: ‘If you’re old enough to get pregnant, you’re old enough to live on your own.’ He kicked me out of the house. He told me: ‘You’ve used your body once. You can use it again.’ I had to beg on the street. I’d go for days without eating. I hid in the bushes outside my house and begged my siblings for food. But they avoided me like I was a disease. I had to abort the baby. I wasn’t mad at the child, but I had no choice. I was completely alone. That was twenty years ago, and I survived. I’m financially comfortable now. And maybe I’ve found some peace. But I’ve never healed. I don’t want anyone in my life. I got married once but I hated the sex too much. Even then I felt alone. I’ll always live like I have nobody. I’ve made a few friends, but in the back of my mind, I’m on my own. Because I don’t want to feel vulnerable. I don’t want to feel weak. I don’t want to cry. I don’t ever want to need anyone again.”

(Accra, Ghana)

Reproduced from Humans of New York

Further updates: Humans of New York shared the update that “She agreed to go to a therapist for the first time. I used funds from the HONY Patreon to purchase ten sessions and will cover much more if she finds value in them.”


All articles of this site is writers own views and the writer wholly contains the liabilities of the article. Women Chapter will not bear any responsibility regarding this. Please do not copy the content without proper permission.

error: Content is protected !!