Sojourner and the Triaged Moments: Part VI

Pamelia Riviere:

Covid routine: Quick Burial

August 12, 2022             

 

Each Covid episode scours a different issue and is insightful, personal and bewitching. I was thinking about today’s morning and how it will be. It is the same routine as holding Freddie’s hand. I will walk down and open the backyard door for him so he can enjoy the fresh air and taste the soft green grass. Such a beautiful morning, but I felt like not having tea sitting on the white bench. I was thinking of so many veggies rotting in the refrigerator. I should check on them. My brother-in-law went to the Bangladesh grocery store to pick up some of my favourite veggies so I could enjoy them when I felt better. He bought some pointed gourds, spiny gourds, snake gourds and luffa. I checked on them. They were dying.

I decided to cook some of those vegetables today. I washed and chopped them thinly to make mixed veggies. Then I used olive oil, salt, pepper, and some herbs. Cooking one small dish, I felt super tired. I lost energy having my morning tea. So I went upstairs and closed my eyes. I slept again to get back my strength. 

 

I woke up at 2 pm and felt fresh. I communicated with one architect and an Engineer about the backyard Ahnaf started, and I could not hire anybody to complete it. I want to see it done by this month. I was sad about the backyard. To make me feel better, I watched a random TV serial. 

Wanita called me to find one of the outfits she wanted to wear to her friend’s wedding. She is planning to go to Italy along with Rabi for two weeks. She feels sad that she cannot visit me before she leaves for Italy, as I am still positive. 

My sister Ruellia also called to know about my health. I am feeling much better but talking to someone for more than 5 minutes gives me a headache. 

I had the mixed veggies I cooked in the morning for dinner and a yogurt. 

 

I felt emotionally zeroed out recently, but I was ready to poke my head out and notice what a vibrant world it is. That change in attitude could feel like it needs a new look to accompany it. So, I indulged in remaking myself from the inside out. There is no better accompaniment to a makeover of the soul. I looked in the mirror; I needed a great new haircut and maybe a new outfit too. I look dead. 

I have got to reach out to my friends. I missed them — my compatibility with my friends sometimes freaks me out. But it is almost certain to lead to something bigger and better, and not necessarily unrealistic.

I am now enjoying tea on my upstairs balcony and writing my daily journal.

Today is the last day of Paxlovid. I am sure tomorrow I will feel much better. 

What a Failed Night! 

August 13, 2022

 

I could not sleep last night at all. I did laundry and changed bedsheets and pillows to feel clean. And then, I concentrated on writing. So, it was late to go to bed. At 2:00 am, when I was trying hard to close my eyes, I got a text message from my friend Sarah. She encouraged me to stay in Toronto and not to travel to Bangladesh as the country is in a macroeconomic crisis. 

And I got another message from my friend Sadaf’s wife Shirin that Sadaf’s dad had suddenly passed away. Such heartbreaking news. He just moved to Vancouver with high hope of joining UBC as an Assistant Professor.

One of my journalist friends messaged me about the current economic situation in Bangladesh. The country is suffering from a lack of electricity, gas, and oil. People were facing power outages for 13 hours daily, and there was no water for five days in some locations. This story was unbelievable! My sleep was over, and I was thinking about Bangladesh’s current macroeconomic situation and governance.

 

I used to have my supper at 5 am, I felt like I was hungry, but I had to take my medicine on an empty stomach. So, I ended up having my Synthroid and went back to sleep. No matter what, I cannot have an early breakfast. I woke up after 2 hours to have Alendronate, my osteoarthritis medicine that needs to sit up for one hour straight. That makes me crazy.

After one hour, I lay down for a few hours of peaceful sleep. I woke up with a call from my cousin Ashly. She also left a message.

 

I decided to make salmon for today’s dinner. It has been eight days since I did not cook meat or fish. I marinated the fish quickly and put it on a frypan with a lid. It turned out so well. Freddie and I sat down in the backyard and finished orange juice. I found a second female pumpkin flower. I also found a fresh male flower, so I hand-pollinated them immediately. I hope these two pumpkins grow well.

  

I felt tired and came upstairs to lie down for a while as I could not sleep peacefully last night. Saheli called to know if I was going to his son’s wedding in Newfoundland. And then my friend Loli called to know about my health. She gave sad news about her cat’s lymphoma disease. Her cat is so beautiful and healthy that I could not imagine she is going through pain.

My friend Apu also called me from NY to know about my health. And he informed me her husband’s nephew, only 22 years old, had passed away from bone cancer. So many bad news I received within one day.

I decided to call Sardar. I know I have no words to help him wipe his pain, the sudden death of his dad. He was so broken over the phone.

This is a hard reality that one day we lose our loving parents and feel our life is meaningless. However, the truth is that they teach us how to grow, be confident, and endure the pain we face in our lives. So, we can use those skills to help our kids grow. This is how I remember my parents and handled each struggle with their given teachings.  

So many phone calls I received today I got a headache. My head was hurting. I took a shower and a quick dinner and went to sleep right away. I slept for 3 hours still head is heavy. I had another cup of chamomile and brushed my teeth. I felt like I was suffocated at home and wanted to walk outside. I walked 200 yards in front of the house but felt cold and feverish. Hence, I returned home. I wanted to work on the paper, but I felt like not doing anything. I need a good sleep.

 

What a failed night! Sick and tired of everything today.  

Omg! My brother called me from Bangladesh at 3 am. I had to talk to my brother and sister, so my sleep was over. Agh!  I got a severe headache after talking to them.

(To be continued….)

Part I:https://womenchapterenglish.com/sojourner-and-the-triaged-moments-part-i/

Part II: https://womenchapterenglish.com/sojourner-and-the-triaged-moments-part-ii/

Part III: https://womenchapterenglish.com/sojourner-and-the-triaged-moments-part-iii/

Part IV: https://womenchapterenglish.com/sojourner-and-the-triaged-moments-part-iv/

Part V: https://womenchapterenglish.com/sojourner-and-the-triaged-moments-part-v/

Part VII: https://womenchapterenglish.com/sojourner-and-the-triaged-moments-the-end/

The writer is an expert in Curriculum and Pedagogy (CP), Peace and Conflict educator, Toronto, Canada. She can be reached at [email protected]

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