Farhana Anondomoyee(Translated by Sadia Rahman):
Dear daughter, be a woman, evolve into a woman who is fulfilled. There are some instances when I differ with the people who constantly advise women to become a “human being”. Man and woman, biologically both are human beings. Men do not to become human beings distinctively. They can celebrate it by being “men”, so can “women”.
Have you ever heard a man being advised to sacrifice his manhood in order to fulfill requirements of human beings? It doesn’t work like that in their case. So why would you sacrifice the glory of womanhood to become “human being”? Embrace the beauty and pride of womanhood and become humanitarian. Be the goddess and have the spark of a meteor at the same time.
Be a woman, complete woman. Be independent and self-sufficient. You are a woman; get all the freedom, earn all the facilities that are your right as a “human being” just like a man gets and enjoys in his life.
No one gets freedom as a generous gift wrapped in papers, at least in our society. In this society, a man gets freedom as a right by born. A woman has to achieve that by her competency. Try to establish your own wills from the very childhood. Keep the will to live life on your own strict. Gather enough energy to carry you and yourself out. Freedom is there where you and only you decide when it’s time to fly on your wings and when to take rest. You have to form the base where you wish to take rest. You’ll need self-confidence, guts and hard work for that. Academic education and practical education stand as the foundation of these three criteria.
An independent and self-sufficient woman is a feminist by nature. Personally, I think feminism is something that makes women aware of their rights and inspires to walk on the way to get those rights. The ways to the destinations are different so are the individual fights. You do not have to hate men to become a feminist. When men as a whole become the opponent to a woman; her life becomes complicated every day. Let them be your partner on your way.
Think of men as your friend; love them as you love nature. Who else can love like a woman does? This is the reason nature has blessed women with the power of bearing children. Because no man can perform such sensitive affectionate duty likes a woman.
This is the reason I will advise you not to hate, not to detest men; rather love them. Despise the rapists, despise the sexual predators, hate frauds but learn to distinguish between them and others. When you love someone you should find the right person. Some miscalculation happens here. “Recycle” these miscalculations, understand the philosophy behind it and use it in life. Till prevent you from making wrong decisions in life.
Above all these things keep sometimes for only you. If you become emotional and sacrifice your individuality your life will lose its meaning. Why would you give the control of your emotions to someone else? Keep something to yourself that it does not make you empty of your beloved leaves you. Keep something to hold onto so that you don’t become destructive about your own life.
Know that the principle of life is that you have to walk your path all by yourself through darkness and light.
I will advise you repeatedly not to make any haste when it’s about choosing your life partner. Marriage is a life-changing incident. Do not dive into it unless you are sure the partner you are choosing will not only be your partner in marriage but your partner in life. This is a really difficult task. You should know that marriage or motherhood cannot the ultimate goal of your life. You never know, you may have some more important duty on earth that nature has allotted for you. Listen to your heart; you’ll get the meaning of your life. You owe something to nature. You should back to nature as well, through your own deeds.
I wish you good luck. Be a liberated woman of this world. Make your life meaningful here.
The original article was published on Women Chapter’s Bengali site on March 3, 2017.
Farhana Anondomoyee is poet, free lancer writer and part-time worker in a private institution.
Sadia Rahman is pursuing Masters from Rajshahi University. Other than writing, her passions include writing, debating and anchoring.