(Continued after Part I)
In a New Landscape, Suffering
August 6, 2022
Significant movements have happened in my life today. I was afraid of fogginess as if my brain’s tectonic plates shifted for Covid. These changes created quite an earthquake in my body. But instead of running for unknown fear, I should head out into the open to take in the new landscape. New problems had been forming just under the surface of my body. And I was not in a perfect frame of mind to wait until they emerged and found a miracle in my unique circumstances.
The body, mind, and soul are interconnected. I needed to deal with my body and soul. If your personal life seems to be purring, you can undertake these three easily in your life. In any case, I needed someone to nudge. But there was nobody around pampering me at that moment. So, I pinched my skin to wake me up.
In the morning, I took a shower, had a regular breakfast, and then felt a bit better. But I felt weary and sick again in the afternoon. So, I tried to take a nap but could not; the pain was aching throat and coughing.
My sister Ruellia learned that I was sick. In the afternoon, she and her husband Manha came to visit me with orange, orange juice, honey, tea, ginger, and chicken corn soup. They dropped the food bags at my backyard door so I could carry them easily. When they called me to get down to open the backdoor and take the food inside, I could not speak to them properly.
I tried to stand up but could sense that my head was too heavy. As if my head was getting apart in pain. I struggled to carry the food from the door steps to the kitchen room. I managed to put the food in the refrigerator and came back upstairs to lie down again.
In the late afternoon, I tried the soup my sister brought, but after having six spoons, I felt nauseous. Then I took a painkiller and went to bed again.
I had a good sleep and felt much better than in the afternoon. I just had a cup of tea my brother-in-law bought, and watching TV made me distracted from sickness.
I planned to note down what had been happening to my body since yesterday.
Now I am going to brush my teeth. Oral hygiene is essential at this moment, no matter what. I will gurgle and go back to bed after having another painkiller. Let’s see if I can survive tonight.
I have sent the rapid test picture to my family physician Dr. Ryla but did not get a response yet.
Now I am in the midst of something big and worse.
I have to make sure that my people understand my actual circumstances. If I do not inform them about my health situation, they will be unable to take action to prevent covid.
I informed all of my friends and colleagues whom I met the last few days so they could take precautions. My friend Loli messaged me that she was feeling itchiness in her throat and diarrhea too. I was feeling bad for her.
Unconditional love: Precious People
August 7, 2022
Mapping the course of my day will be difficult. Everything will constantly be changing for my sickness. And I won’t be able to count on other people to keep their commitments to me. Because of the pandemic, everybody is scared to visit someone. However, any flakiness won’t be their fault. Surprisingly, all this unpredictability kept me merrily on my toes! People who love me came to see me wearing a mask in the backyard, called me, and messaged me daily to know my well-being.
I met them while staying inside the room. The glass door was closed.
This was not a day to count on my regular routine. All my plans are changed, and last-minute cancellations and rescheduling will require that I think on my feet. And I used my razor-sharp critical eye on my upcoming physical problems. So, I do not fall apart.
Today is the third day I woke up and felt my lung gasping and a headache and fever.
I had been trying to ease up when others came to me for advice on why I was careless. Too much harsh criticism will turn me off on a day like today. I was already sick! I was stretching to ease into the tough love with some gentle praise first.
I could not feel like writing anything today; my body and mind were too exhausted. So, I distracted myself by watching random serials and documentaries.
Moreover, I continued having tea with honey, turmeric, orange juice, and some soups. My son asked me to request my Family physician if I am eligible for Paxlovid as I have an autoimmune disorder. So, I emailed my family physician. Finally, she responded after two days. She missed my email and apologized to me.
She prescribed the medicine for me and faxed it to Shoppers Drug Mart, nearest my home. It was a hot day, 29 degrees. The plant looked simmered with heat, so about my body. In the evening, I watered my plants in the backyard and front yard. I hesitated to go to the front yard, thinking of the safety of passersby. It was dark already. I was glad there were no people outside. After watering the plants, I took a shower with caution as I felt tired and shaky. I took medication and went to bed early.
Today is the third day of lazy Covid morning. I woke up with a call from Shoppers Drug mart. But could not receive it. So, I called them back later. The pharmacist said that they did not have Paxlovid in stock. I have to wait for another day. I discussed the unavailability of the medication with my son and daughter. My daughter thought that I might not need it. But my son said I should start it as soon as possible to avoid post-covid issues and look for it in other stores. I felt confused. I emailed my doctor to ask if she could email me the prescription so my family members could check it out with other stores. I also asked her if I should continue Paxlovid. She emailed me a copy of the prescription and suggested that I do not need it if I feel better.
In the afternoon, my brother-in-law dropped off fresh chicken soup and some delicious chicken items so I could change my menu.
I sent the prescription to my most caring brother-in-law. He said he would look for it and come to my home. He went to a few Shoppers’ drug marts and picked up my medicine. The pharmacist was friendly. She talked to me about the treatment and its side effect and inquired about my other prescribed drugs to check if those contradicted Paxlovid or not.
My brother-in-law dropped the medication package on my backyard doorstep. I had three pills at a time, twice a day, as the prescription suggested. After half an hour, I felt my mouth full of bitter melon juice. The description indicated that the sense of taste could be changed. I tried one spoonful of honey to make my mouth better. And then I brushed my teeth and also drank lots of water. Nothing helped.
I watched a TV series in the evening. I heard someone knocking at the front door. I walked to the balcony to see who could come to see me at night. It is my son and his partner. I was so happy to see my son on my fourth day of sickness. He was in Vancouver, so he could not come to see me.
I opened the backdoor and found a few gift packages and foodstuff. My son Ralph and his partner Shane brought a huge vase with beautiful flowers, a box full of useful stuff, cepacol candies, rubs for muscle pain, tree oil for inhalation, pickled artichokes, and lentils. He brought a big bag of lentils so I could make soup later.
Freddie ran down to see with whom I was talking.
Wearing a mask, I opened the backdoor to receive gifts. I was happy but surprised to see my son and his partner. I did not expect him at all as he was too busy. I had no strength to pick up any gifts, neither the heavy gift box nor the big flower vase. I tried to pick them up but felt out of breath. And then, Shane put those up on the breakfast table. My son explained what was inside the gift box and how to use them.
I could see my brother-in-law was also coming to the backyard for the third time today. This time he came with Ruellia and April. But they were inside the car. So I said goodbye to my son and went upstairs balcony to see Ruellia and April.
Ruellia and April waved their hands and asked me, how are you doing? Are you okay? You will be fine soon. Then they left. I was speechless. I just kept waving my hands. And felt miserable.
Ralph sat in his car and was about to exit. I felt emotional and started sobbing at seeing my son leave. The visit was too short, and I felt like I could not share anything with my son.
I just kept crying from the upstairs balcony. To soothe me, my son kept telling me if I was okay. You will be fine soon, mom. I love you and so on. I heard a few sentences correctly as I was crying hard.
He left. I stood there until his car disappeared.
I came inside, sobbed for a few minutes, and then felt too emotional seeing him after a long time. I could not hug him or sit down, which made me heartbreaking.
I was sad but felt high-spirited and ready for almost anything after seeing my son in Lakeridge home. I told myself, make sure you are taking great care of yourself! You have to enjoy lots of accomplishments of your children. It is one of those moments that can make your future a lot brighter if you go for it.
At night I took a tree oil inhalation that he bought and then took a hot shower.
I am going to sleep now.
(To be continued…)
About the writer:
The writer is an expert in Curriculum and Pedagogy (CP), Peace and Conflict educator, Toronto, Canada. She can be reached at [email protected]