Sojourner and the Triaged Moments: Part III

Pamelia Riviere:

Felling of Alienation: Buried in the Sea

August 8, 2022


My logical side is fully disengaged with the world today. And it could make me come across as somewhat cold. I am trying not to alienate anyone close. I am just tired of talking to people as I am getting headaches. I know I can get them back shortly. 

I woke up to Freddie’s call. It was 8:30 am. I asked Freddie why you are calling me early morning. I need to sleep, my darling. He knows this time I used to wake up, take Synthroid and go back to sleep.

My body is experimenting to see what works for me and what is just carried over from inertia. Things can change in a big way if I let them, and change is likely different today. Buddha’s second Noble Truth says everything changes, and nothing lasts forever. However, I totally forgot about taking my morning pill and went back to sleep.

 I have received a few text messages from my family members. So, I replied to them and went downstairs with Freddie, followed by his everyday ritual. He waits by the stairs and waits for a patting on his head. After I cuddle him and tell him, “Fred, let’s go,” he starts walking down slowly with me, keeping pace with me. If I walk too slow, he looks back and watches me see if I am okay with stepping down. He is a fantastic soul.   

I checked on his litter first, which I always do. I know he did not like his new litter, so I was disappointed to see him not using his litter. It has been three days since he is not using his litter, and I could not go to the pet value shop for Covid restrictions and buy the brand he likes. Although my daughter said she ordered his brand but did not arrive home yet.

So, I opened the backyard to help him to release himself. He used to go to the backyard early in the morning to crunch some fresh grass but often puke them inside the home, which I do not like. Still, I want him to enjoy walking in the garden, eating grass, and talking to birds and squirrels.


I had tree oil vapour first, then made tea. I had the usual breakfast but no sense of taste except bitterness, as if I drank bitter melon juice. And it left a super bitter taste on my tongue and throat.  

I walked 5 minutes around the plants in the backyard and felt out of breath. I was surprised to see plenty of peach, orange, and red lilies bloom. There were mini red roses too.

And the purple sage and bean flowers bloomed beautifully. My heart filled with joy seeing colors and life. I took many pictures of beans and flowers. Then I came upstairs with a cup of tea. My sister Amelia called me to know about my health. Today was the first day I could speak to her for a few minutes without interruption of coughing. And I shared my awful feelings about the sickness.  

Freddie ran upstairs, came to me with a happy face, and tried to say what he had done. I patted his head and said okay, I will check what you did. A mother knows his child’s expressions and acts, so I know what he was trying to say. He used to run room to room happily and called me from downstairs that he had pooped. I thought he pooped on the basement floor. No, he used his new litter for the first time. After three days, he felt the fragrance was gone and could use it. I am glad that he liked it.

I cleaned his litter and put all garbage and compost bags outside as tomorrow is the garbage taking-out day. And then I felt tired again. No matter what, I have to do daily chores to stay clean. 

However, I was able to do some daily household chores that made me happy.

This is a course of life! To get a healthy life, I must continue to get back to routine work for Freddie and me.

I wish I could sit in the backyard as it is colder than the front yard balcony, and the air is so fresh. However, because of the constructed material backyard looks messy. I felt I need some fresh juice and water. I was feeling hot and sweating so much and was constantly feeling thirsty.  

As I felt thirsty, I drank a glass of orange juice my brother-in-law had bought. To get fresh air, I stepped into the backyard and sat there for a while. It was breezy, and I felt good. It looks like my plants need water as they are harvesting. So, I watered my plants and came upstairs. I felt excruciating stomach aches; I just screamed out of it. Once, twice, thrice, so many kicks in my stomach. It made me sweat heavily. Therefore, I took a shower.

About the side effect of the medicine Paxlovid, it says the medication may cause diarrhea, alter the sense of taste, increase blood pressure, and cause muscle pain. I think I am getting all these three problems except blood pressure. I am not sure about the blood pressure, though, as I have no way to measure it.

The morning is promising and makes me feel better and more energetic. The afternoon is quite the opposite. It makes me feel that my energy is drained out. Now I am thinking of lying down and watching TV shows, that is all. I am scared of having the Paxlovid dose at five o clock afternoon.

In the afternoon, my sister and brother-in-law Maha arrived with tons of groceries and food. I was surprised to see the number of goods. I was out of breath organizing all this stuff. I text-messaged him about why he dropped so many things. He replied that he knows I like Bangladeshi flavourful special lime and exotic veggies, so I can enjoy the unique lime and keep the veggies for my use later. I had no strength to cook them. 


My younger sister Ruellia did not leave packaging single stuff she had in the kitchen, from ginger to cookies, sugar to salt. She is too caring.

I put out the bins and reorganized a few flower tubs in the front yard. I found yellow and pink roses blooming beautifully in the far front yard. Three gardenias also popped up. Moreover, yellow Toadflax flowers look gorgeous in the corner of the front yard.

I could feel the perspiration was too high. I changed my outfit once and showered again.

The day is too hot, making me sweaty and thirsty. I had some Thai chicken soup Wanita bought and also took Paxlovid. There is no headache today. However, I am tired. Glad that the coughing is less than yesterday. Now I am planning to go to bed. I hope the morning will be more comfortable. I will be able to breathe. 

(To be continued…)

Part I:

Part II:

Part IV:

Part V:

Part VI: 

Part VII:

About the writer:

The writer is an expert in Curriculum and Pedagogy (CP), Peace and Conflict educator, Toronto, Canada. She can be reached at [email protected]

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