Nafisa Mahmud:
There are many debates on should a mother leave her children home alone to go to work or should she leave her job and look after her children. In our culture after a girl is married off ,she is not really supported if she wants to go out and work. Even if she works she can’t hope to work 9 to 5. Even if she manages to do that her in-laws and not to forget her beloved husband will make her life a living hell. I am not saying everyone is like that but everything has exceptions you let your wife work doesn’t mean the guy next door is also letting his wife work. It’s the 21st century but still when a woman becomes a mother everyone wishes that she leaves her job and takes care of her children.
According to me, I would really want my mom to stay back at home but then I would not want her to feel that she is trapped because of us. I have never had an option actually because my mom was a full time service holder from before I was even born. Her income was highly demanded. I remember seeing great determination on her face to give us a better living. She never stopped fighting she fought with the situation, fought with her family, fought with everything and everyone who tried to stop her from giving her children a better life.
Mom was always anxious when she would leave us. I bet it was hard for her to leave her children in the hands of maids. But still she didn’t leave her job. I am happy with my mom’s decision
My mom’s biggest support was Dad; if it weren’t for him she couldn’t have done it. At the beginning dad’s family didn’t approve of the fact that the daughter-in-law of their family would work’s 9 to 5. But my dad never said a word about it to mom. It’s really essential to have a good and understand husband. If the husbands are not understanding it gets harder for woman’s to work.
There was a time when I wanted her to stay back at home with me. I used to get irritated or rather angry because she used to leave us with the maids. Most of the maids were not really …………at that point I would say “not nice” they used to beat the hell out of us. We used to press our ears to the doors around 5.30 pm because mom was always there on time. It seems funny to me now. They use to say “don’t even dare to open your mouth in front of appa (my mother) or else we will teach you a lesson after appa goes to office”. Like an idiot I use to believe that and wouldn’t utter a word to mom.
Now when I tell her about those incidents, I see pain and guilt in her eyes. I am old enough to understand her situations now and I am proud to call her my mother. I don’t blame her anymore for leaving me alone when I wanted her to stay with me. I think every mother has a right to work if they want. Because a mother manages everything perfectly .She takes care of her work, her home, her husband and her children. She fulfills all her responsibility. I think it’s time children start treating mothers like mother and not house maids. And husband’s start treating wife’s like wife and not slaves.
Especially to all the men and children .Men, you have not bought your wife by marrying her. She has a life and she is not your slave that you will party and she will clean up your mess after you. Treat her like the “Warrior princes” she is, because if she wants she “will” turn your life into a “magical dream” and if she wants “she will” turn your life into a “horror movie”.
Children “your mother has not signed her death bound by giving birth to you. Just because she is not showing it doesn’t mean your words don’t hurt her. Just remember she is your mother .She is the one who brought you in this world. She made you the person you are. Don’t hang out with friends and leave the garbage in your room. Clean it by yourself just so your mom doesn’t have to do extra work. She is already giving so much of her time to us. Let her have a life outside of her family. Inspire her to work again or to do the things she stopped doing after we came to earth. If we children can’t be our mother’s power what is the use of even being children……………why do we take so much time of her life and when we grow up instead of being grateful for her we take her for granted and start our cruel torture. Why can’t we see the sacrifices she makes for us? Let her know how special she is and how you feel about her.
Last but not least to all the husbands please give your wife the support she needs. She does a lot, so instead of being a blood sucking leech help her whenever she is stumbling. Cover her mistakes from others rather than pointing it out. Give her strength if she is breaking ……..remember the vows you made to her while getting married. Be an example for your kids so that when they grow up they treat their life partner with the same respect.
The writer is currently studying in Grade – X, Bangladesh International tutorial ( B.I.T ).
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