Shanta Maria(Translated by Sadia Rahman):
I stopped writing because I was frustrated. Readers were relieved I guess as I’m not quite a writer. But people may ask, “What the frustration is about?” I hope to answer that with the writing.
I am a journalist by profession which has not left me with the option of boycotting newspaper. I have to go through at least ten newspapers daily for sake of my profession. I have been unable to find a day without the news of rape or sexual violence. They forcefully entering the houses raping women and there is still no action being taken. The derailed young boys have crossed all the limits. It was the victory day when a guy named Yahya killed a girl named Sumaiya, a student in 10th grade, on her reading table in Dirai. She filed a complaint in RAB still she couldn’t save herself. The perpetrator is out of anyone’s range. A boy who protested against eve teasing has been killed a few days back.
The murder case of Risha is pending. So many cases are being piled up without justice. The murder case of Tonu and Mitu are unsolved. Women are going through a really hard time both inner and outer world. Whenever someone is forwarding a step she’s being pulled back from behind. After all these things if they become too emotional and makes way for emotional hell or death that seems really frustrating.
I knew a girl who cut her veins off out of rage to her boyfriend. She didn’t die though but in the hospital currently. Her boyfriend did not pick up her call, neither did he call her back within an hour. His phone was busy at the same time one of their common friend’s number was busy too. She assumed they were involved. She is a private university student. I don’t know how many dreams her parents may have for her. If she died that day, the dreams would have gone in vain then.
Anyway, she was young but I know someone mature yet got really messed up.
She worked in an organization and had two children. Her husband was in another profession and a busy person. He didn’t have any time for her. But her colleague used to give her enough time. That colleague was married too and his wife is a housewife. His wife was unable to get his afflictions as they said. Gradually they got involved emotionally and crossed all the limits. That guy’s wife was informed instantly. She complained to the authority which cost the girl losing her job. Her husband divorced her hearing all these. On the other hand, the husband realized his mistake and apologized to wife and saved the marriage. The lady lost everything and now suffering from the psychological disorder.
There was an unmarried girl who decided to progress in a job right after joining. SO she responded to the “offers” from her boss. She made quick progress within very short time. She even fired some other people. When she was at her peak, a disaster happened. Another beautiful woman appeared in the scenario. She became dearer to boss obviously. The first girl played so many futile tricks. Boss’s wife is enjoying the drama while she’s suffering from depression.
The thing is where the love emotion and intelligence come from? Where do they get such dependency trust for their lovers? Why don’t they have faith in their own capability? Why is it so scary to live the road alone? The life you make out of your own capability may have less glamour but has more strength. It does not get bruised easily.
Slow and steady wins the game is an ancient proverb for a reason. Still, there are girls who lose their mind falling in love. They take pride over their boyfriend in front of others. The infatuation gets broken by the time when future is dark already.
After observing all these I get frustrated with the “emotional” ladies. Why do not they get the real characters of their lovers? They should be slapped in the very beginning. These women should have control over their emotions. They have to realize the fact that such relationships will only bring destruction. They should realize that there is no shortcut on the way to success. Illegitimate relationships do not bring long-term success.
I would like to say to all the girls out their “you alone have to move forward in life; you’ll have to rise by your own powers. You’ll have to make a career on your own capability. When a guy makes you his queen you should not blindly rely on that. You should not get afraid of loneliness. Enjoy your own company.”
If you get someone who is a really good human being, who is honest in his commitments then he can be your partner. But never should you ruin your career self-respect based on that. One who is really a good person will not disrespect you or lead you to an illegal path. He won’t be an obstacle on your career. You will not wish you to become a solely dependent creature. But he will be a support system and strength to you. Be on your own. Keep your broomstick ready for the lovers who are cheaters.
The original article in Bengali was published on Women Chapter’s main site on January 20, 2018.
Shanta Maria is a senior journalist, writer, and poet.
Sadia Rahman is pursuing Masters from Rajshahi University, Bangladesh. Other than writing, her passions include writing, debating and anchoring.